This Pain Makes Sense

This Pain Makes Sense is a compassionate self-help book for anyone trying to understand the emotional, physical and psychological pain of heartbreak.

Written through the lens of the nervous system, attachment, grief and emotional safety, this book explores why heartbreak can feel so overwhelming, why the mind keeps returning to the person who hurt us, why triggers feel so intense, and why letting go is often far more complex than simply deciding to move on.

Across 52 reflective chapters, Abbey May gently guides readers through the biology of heartbreak, the patterns that can keep people stuck, the difference between love and attachment, the role of shame, boundaries, emotional regulation, and the slow return to self-trust, joy and meaning. Rather than framing heartbreak as weakness or failure, this book helps readers understand that their pain is not proof they are broken. It is often the body and mind trying to make sense of loss, protect against further hurt, and find a way back to safety.

Blending personal reflection with accessible nervous-system education, This Pain Makes Sense offers language for experiences many people struggle to explain: rumination, longing, withdrawal, comparison, trauma bonding, over-giving, anger, grief, and the fear of starting again. It is written for readers who want to heal without shaming themselves, take responsibility without self-abandonment, and move forward without denying the depth of what they felt.

This is a book about heartbreak, but more than that, it is a book about coming home to yourself. It reminds readers that healing is not about becoming untouched by pain. It is about learning to feel safe again, rebuild dignity, honour what mattered, and slowly let life, love and joy back in.