OUTSIDE//INSIDE

Imagine being in your early 70's and suddenly learning a huge family

secret, then finding out that "everyone knew" but you!

Mine, like many families, was a family of secrets. A family of doing, not one of

talking or sharing. What happened in the home was never to be told outside.

"Always wear clean underwear!" "Don't air your dirty linen!" That lived reality

produced the memoir title, OUTSIDE// INSIDE.

This is my life, my abuse and survival stories, my relationships, my coming out

as a gay man, my choices both good and bad, and ultimately a life of

succeeding both personally and professionally. Growing up Roman Catholic

and attending 13 years of parochial school I was taught that confession is

good for the soul. As a practicing psychotherapist for 40 plus years, I

understood and experienced that clients sharing their personal stories was

good for their spirit. Sometimes it was necessary for their survival. Writing

this memoir encompassed both for me.

I completed my memoir just prior to turning 78 years old. Honestly, it was

now or never (wry smile). Writing allowed me to shine a bright light on the

hurtful emotional, physical, and sexual abusive events of my earlier

development, as well as relaying my recovery throughout my adulthood. The safety

and perspective of age, plus the lessons from my profession, fostered a

writing style that is like chatting with a friend. Draft readers said they greatly

appreciated the readability, engaging story telling style, and particularly the

dry humor and occasional psychological analysis. The Conclusion includes a

lengthy analysis of the perpetrators, but also of myself as a

victim/participant/survivor.